One of the things I miss most about my mother is the sound of her voice. I’ve kept her last voicemail on my phone since 2020.
As much as I treasure the recording, I wish I’d answered that call instead.
Neither of us were ever good at talking on the phone, and the calls were never long. However, just hearing her inflection, idioms, and sometimes mildly sarcastic quips reaffirmed that I was known and loved, even if not always understood. She somehow knew there was more to each call than the words we both were saying. As a good mother, she knew that the unspoken mattered.
So I made quick calls after the births of babies and the births of dreams, following broken bones and broken hearts. She made quick responses, and our busy, separated lives continued.
Often, I relate to God in the same sparse way. Sometimes I can barely breathe, much less give voice to how my heart is broken. Sometimes stringing together words for a prayer seems impossible. Yet, when we do not even know what to pray for, the Spirit intercedes for us through wordless groans.
“Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words. And he who searches hearts knows what is the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God” (Romans 8:26-27 ESV).
The Spirit steps in and carries our ‘groanings’—thoughts and feelings we simply cannot express in human words—to God. Holy Spirit not only creates the connection between us and God, but often provides the content of our communication as well.
My first year in college, I usually called my mom from the laundry room payphone instead of my dorm room landline. I didn’t want my roommate to hear the catch in my voice. (I secretly hoped Mom would hear my hurt, though.) I had no idea at the time that my mother needed to hear my voice, maybe even more than I needed to hear hers. My few words told her something, but my tone and inflection probably told her more.
God hears these unspoken messages, too. He desperately wants to keep the conversation going. So when you have to, groan. God hears your heart in that brave act of reaching out. Just like my mom heard my heart in those short, sometimes stifled, calls.
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